i think my tv is drunk
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
