It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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