I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
