dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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