"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
