so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
