You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Randomize
