You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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