So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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