Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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