Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
