walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
