ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
