If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
