Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
