Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
