How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize