"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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