turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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