"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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