I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
