She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
