I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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