Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
