His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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