bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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