That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
