she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
