I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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