did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
