wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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