i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
