The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
