Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
