I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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