Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
