you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
