just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
