"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
