Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
