Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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