grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I FOUND THE LEGS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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