Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
