summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
