wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
