Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
