Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize