haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
