Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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