I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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