Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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