I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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