i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
