I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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