I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
