I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
