Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
