I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
