He told me they were just razor bumps!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
